Competition versus Collaboration

Want to add a good book to your non-fiction to-be-read pile? I recently read "UNCOMPETE: Rejecting Competition to Unlock Success" by Ruchika T. Malhotra and highly recommend it.

Ruchika Malhotra, an award-winning inclusion strategist and speaker, is CEO and Founder of Candour, which works with organizations to create diverse teams and inclusive cultures. A former business journalist, she has reported from four countries and writes regularly on inclusive leadership for the Harvard Business Review. She was named to the Thinkers50 list, a global ranking described by the Financial Times as the "Oscars of Management Thinking." And she wrote two books prior to UNCOMPETE: "Inclusion on Purpose: An Intersectional Approach to Creating a Culture of Belonging at Work" and "The Diversity Advantage." Back in 2025, Ruchika graciously appeared here on my blog in a Q&A.

Here were some stand-out concepts from the book:

Ruchika explained that when we UNCOMPETE, we intentionally:

(1) CHOOSE what's best for the group and environment NOT INSTEAD OF the individual;

(2) ACT in the spirit of collaboration, curiosity, and consideration; and

(3) RESIST cultural norms that are rooted in the domination and exploitation of others, especially marginalized communities.

Ruchika further explained that "When you uncompete, you live up to the promise of a world where everyone wins. And not just you, but your community, your society, and the world...To uncompete offers an alternative where we are empowered, grounded, and forward-looking. We move from believing we have no agency to knowing we can make choices to change our lives and the lives around us. To uncompete is to invest in building a beautiful, thriving future for all."

A memorable example from the book was the reference to the medal podium at the 2024 Paris Olympics from the individual gymnastics competition. You may recall the inspiring photo of the three winners: Gold Medalist Rebecca Andrade from Brazil, Silver Medalist American Simone Biles, and Bronze Medalist American Jordan Chiles. The two Americans bowed to Andrade. This was the perfect example of the theory behind UNCOMPETE because the two Americans were "finding joy in others' joy" - they were applauding Andrade's accomplishment with tremendous respect.

SHARE THIS: When we uncompete, we thrive. Each and every one of us. ~Ruchika T. Malhotra in UNCOMPETE #bookreview #DebbieLaskeysBlog

SHARE THIS: If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else. ~Toni Morrison shared by Ruchika T. Malhotra in UNCOMPETE #bookreview #DebbieLaskeysBlog

Image Credit: Amazon.

Read: Inclusion Is an Opportunity! Q&A and Review of "Inclusion on Purpose" (February 2025):

https://www.debbielaskeysblog.com/2025/02/inclusion-is-opportunity.html

Inspiration for Global Company Culture Month - And Day!

Truer words were never spoken that corporate culture is important. That may be one reason why the entire month of September is dedicated to creating better workplace cultures - as well as on September 18.

According to NationalToday.com, "Global Company Culture Month happens every year during the month of September. The entire month is dedicated to creating a global dialogue about how we can make the world of work better through culture building. Thriving company culture is not something that happens overnight. This month of awareness was created to help companies celebrate great company cultures and explore how to improve broken company cultures...Employees are more engaged in companies with positive workplace cultures, where they feel supported and empowered to do their best work. It is important to focus on improving employee engagement, satisfaction, and happiness to achieve this. This will lead to increased productivity and improved results from all employees."

And, did you know, created by the Global Company Culture Association in 2019 and observed every year on September 18th, GLOBAL COMPANY CULTURE DAY is a day for companies and leaders to focus on ensuring that their corporate culture functions in a way that, above all, maximizes the happiness of employees?

According to Tercon Partners, "Culture is a company's personality. Culture defines the environment in which people work – the values, beliefs, behaviors, and underlying assumptions that drive every aspect of the organization's activities. Culture exists in all organizations, whether it is created through careful design or evolves organically."

I recently gained some inspiration from Justin Wright and wanted to share his commentary:

"Leaders are like Wi-Fi.

Good ones connect and empower you.

Bad ones leave you frustrated and unproductive.

Think about the best leader you ever had.

You felt seen. Supported. Unstoppable.

Now think about the worst.

The anxiety. The micromanaging.

The slow erosion of your confidence.

The difference is night and day.

Great leaders:

Have your back when things go wrong.

Push you to grow, not to break.

Listen more than they talk.

Celebrate your wins.

They're the ones who:

Help you see your potential.

Make you believe in yourself.

Create a team that feels like home.

Understand and manage their own emotions.

Toxic leaders? They do the opposite:

They take credit for your work.

They micromanage every little thing.

They play favorites and create drama.

They blame you when things go south.

Working for them feels like:

Losing your passion for what you do.

Feeling emotionally drained.

Never being good enough.

Walking on eggshells.

So, leaders, remember:

Your TEAM'S SUCCESS is YOUR LEGACY."

SHARE THIS: Your team's success is your legacy. ~Justin Wright #GlobalCompanyCultureDay #EmployeeExperience #DebbieLaskeysBlog

Image Credit: Justin Wright via LinkedIn.

Read previous posts celebrating Global Company Culture Day here on my blog:

Serving in a New Role Today on Global Company Culture Day (September 18, 2024)

https://www.debbielaskeysblog.com/2024/09/serving-in-new-role-today-on-global.html

Let's Celebrate Global Company Culture Day! (September 18, 2023)

https://www.debbielaskeysblog.com/2023/09/lets-celebrate-global-company-culture.html

Read "Culture Matters: Shaping a Culture That Works" (Wharton @ Work - July 2015):

https://executiveeducation.wharton.upenn.edu/thought-leadership/wharton-at-work/2015/07/culture-matters/

Inclusion Is an Opportunity!

While Twitter/X may be off some people's radar due to its ownership change in 2023, I continue to meet and be inspired by interesting thought leaders on that platform. I recently met Ruchika Malhotra, read her book about inclusion, and invited her to participate in a Q&A here on my blog. Highlights of our discussion follow a brief introduction, but first, today is an appropriate day to feature Ruchika.

That's because today is the International Day of Women and Girls in Science. According to Wikipedia, "The International Day of Women and Girls in Science is an annual observance adopted by the United Nations General Assembly to promote the full and equal access and participation of women and girls in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) fields. The United Nations General Assembly passed resolution 70/212 on 22 December 2015, which proclaimed the 11th day of February as the annual commemoration of the observance. A theme is selected annually to highlight a particular focus and area of discussion around a focus point for gender equality in science."

Ruchika Malhotra, an award-winning inclusion strategist and speaker, is CEO and Founder of Candour, which works with organizations to create diverse teams and inclusive cultures. A former business journalist, she has reported from four countries and writes regularly on inclusive leadership for the Harvard Business Review. She was named to the Thinkers50 list, a global ranking described by the Financial Times as the "Oscars of management thinking."

QUESTION: What are three take-aways you hope all readers will have after reading your book? ("Inclusion on Purpose: An Intersectional Approach to Creating a Culture of Belonging at Work")

RUCHIKA MALHOTRA: Here are my three take-aways:

1. I really hope that managers, leaders, and employees at all levels take time to reflect on, learn, build awareness, get uncomfortable and only then take action towards creating a more inclusive workplace. Good intentions don't always lead to good outcomes.

2. I'd love for a key takeaway to be that we all have a role to play in creating an inclusive environment; it's not just HR or a CEO's job.

3. When I think about the biggest opportunity for meaningful change from an intersectional lens, it is to ensure that Black, Indigenous and other people of color are at the forefront of any major effort around creating culture and belonging.

QUESTION: Please briefly explain your "BRIDGE Framework."

RUCHIKA MALHOTRA: I believe inclusion is a mindset, it's not just hardwired in us, and it requires ongoing, intentional work.

To cultivate an inclusion mindset, you have to ground yourself in a growth mindset. Carol Dweck, author of "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success," has shown that success hinges on believing that you can learn and grow in the face of challenges. By contrast, a fixed mindset keeps us stuck and shying away from challenges, believing our talents are innate rather than developed through practice and perseverance.

Cultivating an inclusion mindset requires us to BRIDGE the gap between our good intentions and true impact. To do this, we must:

~Be ok with being uncomfortable.

~Reflect on what you don't know.

~Invite feedback.

~Don't get defensive.

~Grow from your mistakes.

~Expect that change takes time.

QUESTION: I will never forget one extreme example of online harassment detailed in your book. What actions can women take to stop these types of situations from happening?

(The example was this: The online social media platform Pinterest promoted slave plantations as wedding and event venues, and when an employee discovered that fact and told her manager, she was harassed, her performance was dinged, her pay was affected, and her personal info was posted online.)

RUCHIKA MALHOTRA: I believe that an ally is a verb, not a noun. It's not who you are, it's what you do. To practice allyship means asking: How do I plan to intervene when I see someone being harmed because of their identities? How does my privilege allow me to stand up for them?

In the example of Pinterest in my book, it would be going up to leaders at the organization and standing in solidarity with the woman of color who was harmed, demanding change, and especially, ensuring her pay and position were restored. Too many of us passively stand by thinking that just because we believe in justice in theory, we don't take action in practice to stand up for justice. That's precisely how we perpetuate injustice and harm.

SHARE THIS: To practice allyship means asking: How do I plan to intervene when I see someone being harmed because of their identities? How does my privilege allow me to stand up for them? ~@rtulshyan #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: When I was in graduate school in the mid-1990's in San Francisco, one of my tenured professors said to the class, "Women don't belong in grad school. They belong at home in the kitchen." How would you have responded if you had been in my shoes?

RUCHIKA MALHOTRA: I would have walked out and reported them. I don't believe in getting into arguments with people who hold these views. Only when people are willing to listen and learn with an open mind do I get into these discussions – women should not have to prove our humanity or worth to anyone.

QUESTION: In your book, you wrote, "Reading fiction or watching a film that portrays a life very different from ours can help build empathy. When we can temporarily step out of what's familiar and immerse ourselves in the shoes of someone different from us, it can have a strong impact on how empathetic we feel toward others. Research also suggests that we can be better attuned to the social and emotional lives of others by consuming fiction." Therefore, what are some of your favorite works of fiction, and why - and what was the last novel you read?

RUCHIKA MALHOTRA: These are fiction works I come back to really often:

1. Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, on how the intergenerational effects of slavery and trauma impact the characters in her book for generations and how that has such a material impact on their present.

2. Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbue. In general, I've been trying to read more novels from authors from the African continent and diaspora, as I am aware how much our culture lacks accurate representation and portrayals of people from that continent.

3. Anything by Jasmine Guillory. People might be surprised to know that I thoroughly enjoy romance novels featuring a diversity of characters – by race, age, body size, ability, sexual orientation, etc. One of the long-standing impacts of racial inequality in stories is that growing up, romance books, romcom movies, etc., never featured people who looked like me – so it became impossible to imagine a protagonist who could live a funny, messy, complicated life. I love imagining us in "normal" everyday ways as much as extraordinary stories, all that's available to our cis, straight, white counterparts.

SHARE THIS: When we can immerse ourselves in the shoes of someone different from us, it can have a strong impact on how empathetic we feel toward others. ~@rtulshyan #LeadershipTip #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: If you could dine with five leaders from history or modern corporate America, who would you choose, and why?

RUCHIKA MALHOTRA: Here are my five:

1. Audre Lorde would be at the top of the list. Her foresight to capture what we’re navigating in the world right now is absolutely remarkable, and although she was not considered a CEO or leadership expert in her time, I'd say she really exemplifies what it means to be a leader.

2. Oprah Winfrey is the GOAT in my eyes. Her ability to bring people together through stories inspired me from a young age and still does.

3. From corporate America (sort of), it would be Chanel's CEO Leena Nair, who is extraordinary in becoming the first non-French CEO of a French luxury brand and very candid about all that has entailed.

4. Thasunda Brown Duckett's leadership in her interviews has been really inspiring - she has especially talked about a strong character as key to leadership.

5. Indra Nooyi's memoir was energizing for me – I am also impressed with how she's made caregiving and supporting employees who caregive her platform after her retirement from PepsiCo.

My gratitude to Ruchika for sharing her insights and for inspiring all of us to be more inclusive in our workplace cultures and in our perspectives.

Image Credit: Amazon.

Read an important article by Ruchika entitled, "Like Kamala Harris, my name has been mispronounced my whole life. Here's how I reclaimed it."

https://www.msnbc.com/know-your-value/career-growth/kamala-harris-name-mispronounced-whole-life-s-reclaimed-rcna165347

Connect with Ruchika at these links:

Website: https://www.ruchika.co/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruchikatm

Twitter/X: https://www.twitter.com/rtulshyan

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rtulshyan

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCU2QMNy-nMzOtNSCPBhIGg

Learn more about International Day of Women and Girls in Science:

https://sustainability-speakers.com/news/general-news/international-day-of-women-and-girls-in-science

Start Listening to Women = Removal of Barriers for Women Leaders

Michelle Redfern appeared here on my blog in a Q&A to celebrate International Women’s Day back in March 2022, and recently, we re-connected to revisit gender equality and leadership issues. Our convo follows a brief bio.

Michelle Redfern is a globally recognised gender equality, diversity, and inclusion strategist based in Australia. She advises organisations in the business and sporting sectors on DEI strategy development and implementation and works directly with women leaders to advance their careers. She has been recognised as one of Australia’s Top 100 Women of Influence and has won awards for her contribution to women’s advancement. She is passionate about what sets her soul on fire, closing the global leadership gender gap, and enabling women to have a career that soars!

QUESTION: A report entitled, "The Great Renegotiation: Report Rings Alarm that Nearly Half of Women Executives in Revenue Roles are Considering Leaving their Company," was published by Women in Revenue. According to Deanna Ransom, Executive Director of Women in Revenue, “When 50 percent of your female leadership isn’t happy, you need to take a close look internally. Marketing, sales, and customer success are the lifeblood of companies. We’re bringing customers in the door and closing the deals. Women aren’t being paid what they’re worth. They need equal pay, pay transparency, and mentorship to trust that they’re valued, heard, and have a clear career path. Otherwise, in this market they’re going to walk, take another offer, or possibly strike out on their own.” What are your thoughts?

(Read the full report here: https://21178334.fs1.hubspotusercontent-na1.net/hubfs/21178334/WIR22-02_Survey-Report_Rebrand_Final.pdf?utm_source=WIR+2022+Ebook)

MICHELLE REDFERN: There is a lot going on in that question Debbie! I want to break it down into the key issues as I see them.
 
[1] HIGH RISK OF TURNOVER OF WOMEN AT THE EXECUTIVE LEVEL: The zeitgeist of the Great “R” whether it’s resignation, rethink, reset, or renegotiation, has reached a fever pitch since the Covid global pandemic. It seems like every place I look, there is another report telling us how bad things are for women. Women's workplace issues have always been there, but the conditions created by the pandemic shone a much-needed light on them. Ms. Ransom is spot on with her commentary, because a trend of 50% disengagement of executive women is a significant risk. And, like any other risk, it cannot be ignored and must be managed or mitigated.

[2] THE GENDER PAY GAP: The gender pay gap means that, on average, men earn a higher income than women. There are many driving factors, including male-dominated industries having higher pay rates (e.g., mining, manufacturing, and construction) with feminised industries (e.g., caregiving, teaching, and healthcare) earning much lower pay rates.

Also, women’s workforce participation must be addressed to close the gender gaps in the paid workforce. Women still perform 75% of the world’s unpaid labour, including caring.

Another factor is the leadership gender gap. Men still dominate the most senior and well-paid roles in society. Addressing the role of men in society is key – men must be taught from the outset of their lives that they are equally responsible for what I call the 3 C’s: Cooking, cleaning, and caring! Every one of us must challenge rigid gender stereotypes – and that begins at home.

[3] PAY TRANSPARENCY: A very bright light must be shone on the gender pay gap; one way is through greater transparency. There are two levels to this: the organisational level and the job level.

Organisational Level: Australian Workplace Gender Equality Agency (WGEA) has been reporting on Australia’s gender pay gap for over a decade, and from 2024 onwards, private-sector employer pay gaps will be published. This legislated reform will accelerate change for workplace gender equality.

Job Level: The State of New York mandated that employers disclose the compensation or range of compensation in any advertisement for a job, promotion, or transfer opportunity. Here’s the link to take a look: https://www.nyc.gov/site/cchr/media/pay-transparency.page.

[4] MENTORSHIP: I have been very vocal that women are over-mentored and under-promoted. If 50% of the women in your organisation are about to walk, for goodness’ sake, don’t assign them a mentor!  The better thing to do is to listen to the women in your organisation at every level to understand their lived experiences at work.

This means asking women three key questions:
First, “What is it like for you to work here?”
Second, “What should I do more of to support you?”
Third, “What should I do less of to support you?”

Use my discussion guide, How to Listen to Women, to help with this critical conversation. Here’s the link:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/j657194lcmc27pr/Leaders%20Guide%20to%20Listening%20%28to%20women%29_2023.pdf?dl=0.

Executive and other women will vote with their feet when conditions in their workplace do not meet their needs. Leaders who are serious about sustainable high performance of their organisation who ignore this fact, and the factors leading to women's unhappiness and disengagement about their workplace, do so at the peril of being on the wrong side of the success/failure ledger.

SHARE THIS: Women will vote with their feet when conditions in their workplace do not meet their needs. ~@RedfernMichelle #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: Fast Company published an article entitled, "New Report Finds 60 Percent of Women in Leadership Feel Lonelier As Their Careers Progress." How can we reverse this trend?

(Read the full article here: https://www.fastcompany.com/90863592/women-leadership-feel-lonely-isolated)

MICHELLE REDFERN: Climbing up the leadership ladder, particularly as a CEO, can be a daunting experience with limited peers. That's why it's essential for women, regardless of their career stage, to actively seek out support groups. Women's networks offer a fantastic opportunity to connect with others in similar situations, exchange achievements and challenges, acquire new skills, and strategically expand networks.

QUESTION: In an article published by Harvard Business Review entitled "Where Women's Leadership Development Programs Fall Short," the theme was that these programs "can signal that women are deficient and need fixing, or that the under-representation of women in senior leadership positions is a result of their inability to compete with men." Wow! How can we turn around this inaccurate interpretation?

(Read the full article here: https://hbr.org/2023/03/where-womens-leadership-development-programs-fall-short)

MICHELLE REDFERN: One of my mantras is that women do not need fixing. The system does. The system (aka, patriarchal and misogynist attitudes) places barriers in the pathway of women who want to advance into leadership.

They manifest, typically, in three ways.

First: Policies and practices in organisations aren’t women-friendly.

Second: Unexamined mindsets of managers who make decisions about women (gender discrimination and bias).

Third: The skills that women are advised to develop most often (in fact, 97% of the time) fail to address how critical it is for women to develop and demonstrate business, strategic, and financial acumen.

QUESTION: According to an article published by the BBC entitled, "Why We Use Women’s Professional Titles Less Than Men’s," "Across many fields, women who have earned formal titles report that others neglect or dismiss these titles, or even condemn women’s claims to them." To see proof, we can look to the American First Lady to see how many people dismiss Dr. Jill Biden's title. So, how can we get gender parity when it comes to professional titles?

(Read the full article here: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210216-why-do-professional-titles-actually-matter?ocid=global_worklife_rss)

MICHELLE REDFERN: To properly introduce women, we should use titles that reflect their accomplishments. For instance, I introduce a woman with a PhD as "Doctor," even if she has not been using the title. It's important to encourage women to take pride in their achievements and address them accordingly.

QUESTION: You feature the words of the 27th Prime Minister of Australia, Julia Gillard, on your website: "I’m offended by the lack of women in positions of leadership and the way those that do make it are treated." Therefore, based on your experience, what three actions can all male leaders take to improve the workplace for women who aspire to become leaders?

MICHELLE REDFERN: Men who are in leadership positions must do the following:

First: Not assume they understand the lived experience of women in the workplace. THEY DO NOT.

Second: START LISTENING TO WOMEN. Ask women what works and what doesn’t work in the workplace for them. Ask women what must be done more of and what must be done less of to make the workplace a better place for women and to help them advance.

Third: Take action on the insights they have gained.

SHARE THIS: Men who are in leadership positions must not assume they understand the lived experience of women in the workplace. They do not. ~@RedfernMichelle #DebbieLaskeysBlog

My gratitude to Michelle for sharing her insights about leadership and gender equality.

Image Credit: Debbie Laskey.

Check out Michelle’s previous appearance here on my Blog:
Tips to Create Gender Equality in Your Workplace
https://www.debbielaskeysblog.com/2022/03/tips-to-create-gender-equality-in-your.html

Connect with Michelle at these links:
About: https://www.advancingwomeninbusinessandsport.com/advance-with-michelle
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdvancingWomeninBizandSport/
LinkedIn https://au.linkedin.com/in/michelleredfern
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RedfernMichelle
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelleredferndotcom/

Men’s Role in Gender Equity and Celebrating RBG's Birthday!

 

Why is today special? Today is the birthdate of former Associate Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. In her memory, we celebrate her accomplishments and her passion for gender equality advocacy.

According to Kim Elsesser in Forbes, “How did Ruth Bader Ginsburg become such a feminist rock star? Ginsburg learned about gender discrimination firsthand at school and in the workplace. At Harvard Law School, Ginsburg and other female students were questioned by the dean as to why they felt they were entitled to take the spot of an aspiring male lawyer. Ginsburg realized that women could never achieve equality with men if outdated stereotypes were holding them back. Prior to her tenure on the Supreme Court, she challenged law after law where women and men were provided different rights due to gender stereotypes.”

Today is also Equal Pay Day, an annual observance that symbolizes the ongoing issue of pay disparity and the wage gap between men and women. The date itself symbolizes how far into the year women must work to earn as much as men during the previous year.

As a member of the Twitterverse for more than 13 years, I always enjoy meeting new people and learning from them. To quote Matthew Kobach (@mkobach), "Twitter is a key that unlocks thousands of doors, some of which you never even knew existed." Recently, I connected with David Smith from Baltimore, Maryland, and invited him to appear here on my Blog in a Q&A discussion about men’s role in promoting gender equality in the workplace, diversity, and leadership. Highlights of our conversation follow a brief introduction.

David Smith, PhD, is co-author of the book, Good Guys: How Men Can Be Better Allies for Women in the Workplace and an Associate Professor at the Johns Hopkins Carey Business School. A former Navy pilot, Dr. Smith led diverse organizations of women and men culminating in command of a squadron in combat and flew more than 3,000 hours over 30 years including combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. As a sociologist, he focuses his research in gender, work, and family issues including allyship, inclusive mentorship, gender bias in performance evaluations, and dual career families. He is the co-author of Athena Rising: How and Why Men Should Mentor Women and numerous journal articles and book chapters that focus on gender and the workplace.

QUESTION: You wrote a book entitled, Good Guys: How Men Can Be Better Allies for Women in The Workplace. Can you please share some key highlights or take-aways you hope readers have?

DAVID SMITH: Our goal for Good Guys is to engage men in doing gender equity work WITH women and develop the skills they need to help create sustainable workplace change. Framing allyship as gender collaboration and partnership helps avoid potential perceptions by men that women need rescuing or that men can do this work without women. Men are an important piece of the gender equity puzzle because they are still the majority in positions of power and influence.

The benefits of men engaging in gender equity work is often overlooked and can be instrumental to their involvement. Men who engage as allies in doing gender equity work have more diverse networks, access to different information, and have better interpersonal skills—more empathy, EQ, humility, and better communication skills that make them better leaders—and better partners and parents! Recent research showed that men who participated in allyship programming (training, education, communities of allies) were more likely to observe and recognize biased behavior and take proactive ally actions as reported by women.

My co-author, Brad Johnson, and I operationalize allyship into three areas of action that are also helpful in understanding where someone is on their allyship journey.

[1] The first is interpersonal allyship and this can be understood as how someone individually holds themselves accountable for how they show up in the workplace. This includes the kind of relationships they have with coworkers to include being collegial, supportive, collaborative, and supporting equity and fairness initiatives. This is the easy part of allyship because you only have to focus on holding yourself accountable for developing your awareness and relationships.

[2] The harder part of allyship where men feel like they are really putting some skin in the game is public allyship—publicly disrupting status quo, biased behaviors and language, and public advocacy and sponsorship. Public allyship requires men to not only hold themselves accountable, but also people on their team, and their leaders.

[3] Finally, as men develop awareness and understanding of how biases operate in everyday practices to create systemic inequities, such as, the gender wage gap or a lack of representation of women in senior leadership positions, they also have an obligation to change those practices to make them more equitable so everyone can thrive.

SHARE THIS: Men are an important piece of the gender equity puzzle because they are still the majority in positions of power and influence. ~@davidgsmithphd #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: Susan Colantuono (@SusanColantuono on Twitter) wrote, "If women aren’t proportionately represented throughout your organization, you aren’t facing a women’s issue, you’re facing a talent development issue with business implications." What do you think about that statement?

DAVID SMITH: The outcomes for businesses and teams that have a more diverse and balanced workforce are unquestionable: better places to work, more successful, make better decisions, more innovative, more creative, and more profitable. The business case for gender equity couldn’t be stronger. A lack of representation is a clear indicator that an organization is not achieving its potential. Many organizations recognize the value and importance of creating a sustainable pipeline of talent, but few have also solved for how to retain and advance women as leaders and managers equitably. This will require change to their internal talent development processes. The status quo is not working.

QUESTION: When I was in graduate school in the mid-1990's, one of my tenured professors said to the class, "Women don't belong in grad school. They belong at home in the kitchen" How would you have responded if you’d been in my shoes?

DAVID SMITH: First, I’m sorry you experienced this and unfortunately it was all too common. I still hear these biased and sexist comments today. All too often, when these comments are made, it falls on women to respond despite men being in the room (and many of them recognizing the sexism). Even more challenging, as in your situation in grad school, is the power dynamic involved and the potential negative impact of saying anything.

So, if I were in your shoes as a female grad student, I hope I would have used a Socratic question. For example, “Why do you feel that way”? This can be an effective way of addressing sexism and forcing perpetrators to justify and explain their comments. Often this forces them to see the error in their ways or at least have them think about the impact it had on others. This technique also feels less confrontational and can alleviate some of the concern about backlash.

Having said that, what needed to happen was for an ally and especially a man in this case, to step up and disrupt this sexism. Research shows that men who disrupt are not penalized in the same way as women and in some cases can benefit from being seen as an ally or gender advocate. There are many techniques for disrupting depending on many of the situational and relational factors involved, but unfortunately bystander paralysis keeps most people from doing or saying anything. It is crucial that allies disrupt the status quo of sexism and highlight what many people in the space were thinking or feeling. Actively disrupting can help validate others who were offended and give them the self-confidence to disrupt in the future. Systemic and cultural change demands that all of us disrupt status quo workplace behaviors.

SHARE THIS: Men who disrupt are not penalized in the same way as women and can benefit from being seen as a gender advocate. ~@davidgsmithphd #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: Two quotes serve as an introduction to my question. According to Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook: "If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat." And according to Shirley Chisholm: “If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring in a folding chair.” Despite recent successes, how can women earn more top leadership positions at the C-Suite table?

DAVID SMITH: There are a lot of systemic practices involved but let’s focus on one that I think is key—sponsorship. It is well-documented that women don’t receive the same amount and type of sponsorship that men receive. One of the programmatic interventions that has proliferated in companies is formal sponsorship programs. Formal programs are helpful in creating intentionality, visibility, and accountability in organizations. Of course, the goal is to eventually transition to making sponsorship equitable for everyone and a part of the organizational culture. But until that day, formal programs help to focus attention on the wealth of talented women at all leadership levels.

While having more women in senior leadership positions is the goal, it’s helpful to simultaneously focus on where we can have the most impact—at the first rung of the managerial/leadership ladder. The McKinsey Women in the Workplace annual studies continue to find that the most significant change in gender balance occurs when we reach the first level of leadership. This varies by industry but is consistently the career point where we find a dramatic decrease in women. If we’re going to create real and sustainable equity in the C-Suite, we need to make sure we are sponsoring and providing stretch opportunities for women into the first managerial/leadership level.

SHARE THIS: If we’re going to create equity in the C-Suite, we need to provide stretch opportunities for women in the first managerial/leadership level. ~@davidgsmithphd #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: Amy Diehl (@AmyDiehl on Twitter), a gender equality advocate who we both admire, recently appeared on my blog in a Q&A about leadership, gender bias, and gender equality. When asked which Ruth Bader Ginsburg quote was her favorite, she responded, “This RBG quote is a reminder that women should not be the exception on boards, teams, and leadership: ‘Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn't be that women are the exception.’” Which RBG quote inspires you, and why?

DAVID SMITH: Here’s my favorite RBG quote:
“If you have a caring life partner, you help the other person when that person needs it. I had a life partner who thought my work was as important as his, and I think that made all the difference for me.”

We can’t achieve full gender equity at work until men show up as allies at home. Until men do their fair share of the domestic responsibilities, caregiving, homeschooling, emotional/cognitive labor associated with this unpaid labor, and be fully supportive of their partner’s career, we will continue to endure the painstakingly slow progress that leads to estimates of 200+ years to close the gender wage gap.

The family norm in the US has long been dual-earner or dual-career families, even more so when children are present. As women flocked to the workplace over the past 60+ years, they continued do double duty at home. Yes, men have slightly increased the amount of unpaid work during the same period, but the gap still remains with women doing 1.5 to 3 times what men do at home. Most male executives of Fortune 500 companies have a stay-at-home partner. There has been little pressure for leaders and organizations to change workplace culture or how/when/where we work to create an equitable workplace for men and women. Although the pandemic has certainly refocused this conversation. But where will it go?

The good news is that most fathers (nearly 70%) want to have an egalitarian relationship at home and be equally involved in raising and caring for their children. Yet, half of these fathers are “conflicted” because they are not able to combine work and family equitably because of workplace norms, policies, managerial support, and stigma. If we can change workplaces to acknowledge that we all have caregiving responsibilities, families (yes, even single people provide caregiving), and personal/emotional needs to be able to perform at our best, this may be the next step toward a much brighter future and one that I aspire to.

My thanks to David for sharing his equality, diversity, inclusion, and leadership insights and for appearing here on my Blog.

Image Credit: Ashkan Forouzani via Unsplash.

Connect with David at these links:
Website: www.workplaceallies.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/davidgsmithphd
Twitter: @davidgsmithphd

Read some of David's inspiring posts in Harvard Business Review:

Research: Men Are Worse Allies Than They Think
https://hbr.org/2022/10/research-men-are-worse-allies-than-they-think

Stop Protecting “Good Guys”
https://hbr.org/2022/08/stop-protecting-good-guys

How Men Can Confront Other Men About Sexist Behavior
https://hbr.org/2020/10/how-men-can-confront-other-men-about-sexist-behavior

Men, Stop Calling Yourselves Allies. Act Like One.
https://hbr.org/2022/08/men-stop-calling-yourselves-allies-act-like-one

Read Kim Elsesser’s (@kimelsesser on Twitter) full article in Forbes (referenced in this post’s introduction):
https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2020/09/19/ruth-bader-ginsburg-was-a-feminist-rock-star-heres-why/

Tips to Improve Your Organization’s Employee Experience

Today is Employee Appreciation Day, and to celebrate, I’d like to welcome Marli Rusen to my blog in a Q&A about the employee experience, corporate culture, workplace diversity, and the role of human resources.

First, a little background about Employee Appreciation Day – and then a brief bio about Marli Rusen from British Columbia, Canada. Observed on the first Friday in March, Employee Appreciation Day was started in 1995 by Dr. Bob Nelson, initially to celebrate the publication of his book, “1001 Ways to Reward Employees,” which has expanded into “1501 Ways to Reward Employees.” The purpose was to remind employers to thank their employees when they do good work. So, as your organization considers how to best appreciate, recognize, and value your employees, read on for some amazing insights.

Marli Rusen brings many years of experience as a labor, employment, and human rights lawyer to her current work as a labor arbitrator, mediator, expert in workplace conflict resolution, and memorable keynote speaker. After working as a lawyer for 15 years, Marli made the decision that she wanted to make a positive difference in a proactive role when conflicts arose. For the last 15 years, she has served in a problem-solving, mediator role, working closely with all parties to help them arrive at a consensual resolution. She designs each mediation in a way that best meets the unique dynamics and issues with which the parties are faced to maximize the likelihood of success. Over the years, Marli has developed proactive and practical tools to help leaders resolve complex team dynamics that affect productivity, retention, and engagement. This has culminated in her creation of the MIRROR Method, a practical six-step program for leaders to follow in the face of team disruption and dysfunction. The MIRROR Method has been adopted with resounding success by numerous organizations.

QUESTION: You launched your new book entitled, "Walking on Eggshells? A Practical Guide to Resolving Stressful Conflict at Work and Home.” What are some key take-aways?
MARLI RUSEN: Here are some:

Conflict is inevitable and not necessarily a bad thing. Often, we incorrectly equate disagreement with disrespect. In fact, the mantra of “We all think the same here” is dysfunctional. Allowing for respectful discussions around difference and diversity will lead to progress. Forced consensus, however, will paralyze progress. We should not be freaked out by having or allowing differences of opinion in our workplaces.

Having said that, disagreements may become disrespectful, and conflict may become dysfunctional if accompanied by disrespectful or disruptive behavior/communication. In these situations, it is not the disagreement/conflict that causes the disrespect, it is the manner in which individuals speak to, speak about, or treat those around them, particularly those with whom they disagree.

When disagreements, disrespect, and disruption arise, it is critical to resolve them, where possible, in an early, informal, and respectful manner, using a clearly established set of ground rules. Examples of these are outlined in “Walking on Eggshells.” It is so important to understand and agree upon etiquette for having these types of conversations. This includes agreement on where and when to have these discussions and expectations on how to speak and listen to each other during them. These “rules of engagement” should be applied consistently and fairly to all, regardless of who is having the conversation.

SHARE THIS: We should not be freaked out by having or allowing differences of opinion in our workplaces. ~@MarliRusen #EmployeeExperience #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: Your “MIRROR Method” book provides leaders with a six-step framework to diagnose and remedy workplace dysfunction, restore trust and communication, and build powerfully dynamic teams. Please provide an overview.
MARLI RUSEN: Many leaders are promoted without having the necessary training on how to lead effectively. They want to lead but don’t have the tools to show up as a leader (versus as an employee). They often learn through trial and error, at their expense and at the expense of those who report to them.

Through my MIRROR Method, the moment an issue happens on their team, I walk them through a 6-step process toward defensible and respectful resolution. The process will be FAIR, EQUITABLE, and BALANCED. The decision may not “feel” fair by the employee – but, objectively speaking, the process leading up to that decision will be.

QUESTION: Since the overall employee experience begins with onboarding, how would you create a memorable and positive onboarding experience?
MARLI RUSEN: There are three C’s of onboarding. They are:

Clarity: When roles, responsibilities, and work-related expectations are clarified at the outset, there is no wasted time on scavenging, that is, searching for basic answers on how to get things done. Employees need to be told, for example, who on each team is responsible for what; how their work intersects with and impacts others; and who they can go to with questions and concerns; etc.

Communication: Ongoing communication is critical. Since everyone communicates differently, it is preferable for leaders to engage in customized messaging and support for their staff. Some may prefer feedback in writing (such as email); whereas others may prefer verbal and hands-on direction. Also, people learn differently. When it comes to communication, coaching, and otherwise, remember that “No one size fits all.” This is especially important in the context of cultural diversity and neurodiversity. Meet your team members where they are and help them learn in a manner that best works for them. Be responsive and fluid as a leader.

Connection: From day one, employees want to feel valued, so leaders must make the time to value them in a demonstrable manner. New employees should also be paired with a longer-term employee, someone who enjoys and thrives in this role. This will help avoid the unwelcome wagon: where a disinterested team member assigned to mentor a new employee speaks poorly about the workplace and pays “lip service” to their role as mentor.
 

SHARE THIS: From day one, employees want to feel valued. ~@MarliRusen #EmployeeExperience #EmployerBranding #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: There is a lot of buzz that there should be a HR position/expert at the C-Suite table. What are your thoughts?
MARLI RUSEN: Absolutely.

Human Resources is an area of expertise that requires education and experience. Consider these specialty areas: labor relations, retention and recruitment, onboarding and training, occupational health and safety, bullying and harassment, discrimination in hiring/firing, and many others.

Companies need someone from HR to handle these matters correctly for the benefit of the organization as well as from a legal standpoint. It would not be appropriate for me to review and opine on financial documents given my lack of expertise and training in finance. Similarly, I would not expect a member of the C-Suite to exclusively decide on HR-related processes and decisions when they lack related education and expertise.
 
QUESTION: There are many new titles for the head of personnel, aka Human Resources, including: Chief Happiness Officer, Chief People Officer, Chief Talent Officer, Chief Encouragement Officer, to name a few. What are your thoughts to change the title in order to improve the position’s value to all employees?
MARLI RUSEN: That’s a good question.

The title of Human Resources covers the myriad of responsibilities performed by the HR department. The other titles you mention are too limited in scope and fail to recognize the many roles and responsibilities assigned to those who work in this field.

For me, what’s more important than the title is that employees and leaders clearly understand the mandate of the HR department in their organization.
 
Organizations use their HR Departments differently. Some are neutral advisors for everyone in the workplace. In others, such as, certain unionized organizations, HR attends meetings as the “management-representative.” In certain workplaces, the same HR employee who meets with an employee in confidence about their personal struggles is later questioning them in a workplace investigation.

The confusion and lack of communication around the mandate of HR has created internal tensions and mistrust. We need to be honest and clear with employees and managers as to what HR may reasonably offer – and what it cannot.

Finally, regardless of the specific mandate attached to an HR department, it is the role model for an entire organization. Its treatment of others, including its processes around decision-making and conflict-resolution, sets the tone for the culture of the organization. For this reason, HR leaders and staff need to be mindful of how they communicate, how they treat all employees and leaders, how they handle conflict resolution, and much, much more.

SHARE THIS: Human Resources is the role model for an entire organization. ~@MarliRusen #EmployeeExperience #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: What are the three key elements that a leadership team can do to create and maintain a positive corporate culture?
MARLI RUSEN: One of my favorite quotes regarding this topic is, “Employees don’t want the annual BBQ, they want day-to-day respect.” 

There are three R’s to answer this question:
Respectful conduct: Leaders need to walk the talk to show employees that they mean what they say. They cannot say one thing and do the opposite. The world of double standards is no more.

Respectful decision-making: Leaders must not show favoritism in their decision-making. Their decisions must be rooted in objective, work-related information, based on the best interests of the organization. Those decisions should be communicated in a respectful, consistent, and transparent manner.

Respectful accountability: Leaders need to effectively and respectfully manage disruptive behavior and poor performance that arises on their team. They cannot “disappear” in the face of conflict and controversy. They must actively engage with and manage conflict to ensure it is resolved in a timely manner.

A leader’s portfolio must contain expectations and tools for conflict resolution. In order build and maintain respectful and productive workplace cultures, conflict management must be treated as a necessary and fundamental leadership competency.
 

SHARE THIS: Employees don’t want the annual BBQ, they want day-to-day respect. ~@MarliRusen #EmployeeExperience #WorkplaceCulture #DebbieLaskeysBlog

SHARE THIS: Conflict management must be treated as a necessary and fundamental leadership competency. ~@MarliRusen #LeadershipTip #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: Lastly, one of my favorite quotes about leadership is from Arnold Glasow, an American businessman often cited in the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and other publications, “A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame, a little less than his share of the credit.” What does this quote mean to you?
MARLI RUSEN: I agree but would go further. For organizations to thrive and advance, you need to create space and opportunity for innovation and growth. Employees need to feel confident to respectfully challenge themselves, raise concerns and ideas with their leaders, and question the status quo. They cannot do so when they operate in fear of making mistakes.

Leaders who “take a little more than their share of blame” don’t point fingers or shame their team. They celebrate the wins and find solutions to the losses. This does not mean that mistakes are not addressed. It simply means that they are resolved in a fair, confidential and respectful manner. If a leader shows consistent integrity and kindness, in good times and bad, the result will be loyal, committed, and engaged employees. Respectful and inclusive leadership does not cost a cent – and its benefits are priceless.

My profound thanks to Marli for sharing her workplace insights and for appearing here on my Blog.

Image Credit: Harry Adhi via Vecteezy.

Connect with Marli at these links:
Twitter: @MarliRusen
Facebook: /marlifrusen
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/marli-rusen
Website: https://themirrormethod.ca
Book: Walking on Eggshells: https://themirrormethod.ca/product/walking-on-eggshells-guide-to-resolving-stressful-conflict/
Book: The Mirror Method: https://themirrormethod.ca/product/the-mirror-method-book/

Do You Use Your Voice to Lift Up Women Leaders?

 

Do you know today’s significance? On this date in 1869, the legislature of the territory of Wyoming passed America’s first woman suffrage law, granting women the right to vote and hold office. In 1890, Wyoming became the 44th state admitted to the Union and became the first state to allow women the right to vote.

To celebrate today’s significance, I’ve invited Susan Colantuono to return to my Blog for a conversation about women leaders, supportive men in the workplace, leadership, and RBG.

But first, a brief introduction…Susan Colantuono is an expert on women's advancement, author, and speaker. She is best known for her TED Talk on the Career Advice You Probably Didn't Get (which has over 4 million views) and her books, “No Ceiling, No Walls” and “Make the Most of Mentoring.” She is the founder and former CEO of Leading Women, a global consulting firm focused on women's advancement. Now, as a co-host of A Career that Soars!, she continues to provide leadership and career development to women around the globe.

QUESTION: You appeared on my blog in a Q&A in August 2021. During our inspiring convo, you said, “Surrounding oneself with smart and capable colleagues is one hallmark of great leaders.” How can new leaders overcome their big egos and embrace this important leadership tip?

SUSAN COLANTUONO: People who are new to leadership positions (not all of whom would fulfill my definition of leadership!) navigate three major transitions.

First from individual contributor to first-line manager. This is the first hurdle when it comes to tapping smart and capable colleagues, because, in most cases, they make this leap because of their excellent professional performance. It’s easy here to not know how to delegate and rely on others because there’s been no experience. And if they don’t learn, they will fail.

By the time a person transitions into the “muddle in the middle,” which can be all positions from manager to senior manager, and involve managing individuals or teams or teams of teams, they have a basic understanding that they will not succeed without engaging the greatness in others.

And at the executive level, when one manages functions and business units, it is impossible to be the only one in the room who knows everything. So, to me, the answer to your question is success on the way up requires the learning of this lesson…and if someone hasn’t learned it due to a huge ego, they will ultimately fail.

TWEET THIS: Surrounding oneself with smart and capable colleagues is one hallmark of great leaders. ~@SusanColantuono #LeadershipTip #EmployeeExperience #DebbieLaskeysBlog

TWEET THIS: At the executive level…it is impossible to be the only one in the room who knows everything. ~@SusanColantuono #Leadership #DebbieLaskeysBlog

QUESTION: In a recent post on the website www.19thnews.org entitled, “Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff leans in to being a voice for gender equality,” he said, “I found where I can really make a difference is just trying to use my voice to lift women in leadership up.” What are the qualities women should look for in men who can be good mentors and help them to earn promotions and C-Suite roles?

(Read the post here: https://19thnews.org/2022/08/doug-emhoff-second-gentleman-women-gender-equity/)

SUSAN COLANTUONO: I was so happy to read the profile on Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff. The media has pretty much ignored him (as they have the consequential portfolio that VP Kamala Harris is handling). I'd say the two most important things to look for in good mentors (and perhaps sponsors) are:

1. A skill set that matches the woman's development needs especially as it relates to providing mentoring on business, strategic, and financial acumen.
2. A willingness to advance women (past evidence or current interest).

QUESTION: You wrote a memorable book in 2010 entitled, “No Ceiling, No Walls: What women haven't been told about leadership from career-start to the corporate boardroom.” What are five key take-aways you hope readers will have?

SUSAN COLANTUONO: Debbie, thank you for describing No Ceiling, No Walls as memorable. I am constantly touched by women who’ve told me it transformed their careers. The top five takeaways I hope readers have are:

1. Leadership manifests at every level from career-start to the C-Suite.
2. Career advancement rests on the foundation of proven and perceived leadership, which means “using the greatness in you to achieve and sustain extraordinary outcomes by engaging the greatness in others.”
3. There is a missing 33% of the career success equation for women. This translates to the fact that most of us have to get better at developing and/or demonstrating our business, strategic, and financial acumen.
4. The key to demonstrating business, strategic, and financial acumen is learning to use The Language of Power.
5. Using the metaphor of a diamond ring, many women don’t need to polish the diamond, we often need to strengthen its setting. In other words, because women are perceived as great at interpersonal and team skills, it’s a better use of our time to strengthen our business, strategic, and financial acumen rather than polish our interpersonal and team skills.

QUESTION: There is a new role in some C-Suites: Chief Happiness Officer. What do you make of this, and can it, or should it, become standard in all organizations?

(Read the post here: https://www.fastcompany.com/40582655/employers-your-idea-about-employee-happiness-is-all-wrong)

SUSAN COLANTUONO: Fast Company has a pretty good article about the trend to hire Chief Happiness Officers. Here’s what I think, and I mirror some of the points in the article. Employee engagement rests on four key factors: meaningful work, a good manager, respectful colleagues, and equitable pay and benefits.

If the responsibility of the Chief Happiness Officer includes action in these four areas, I think the position has merit. If the company envisions the responsibility as including event planning, foosball tables, and corporate swag, it’s a waste of money.

QUESTION: Lastly, what’s your favorite RBG (former Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg) quote, and why?

SUSAN COLANTUONO: I so admire Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and one of my favorite t-shirts reads: "VOTE, we’re Ruthless (pun intended). "There are SO many great quotes from her that I’m going to choose two:

“When I'm sometimes asked when will there be enough [women on the Supreme Court] and I say, 'When there are nine,' people are shocked. But there'd been nine men, and nobody's ever raised a question about that.”

“The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a woman’s life, to her well-being and dignity. It is a decision she must make for herself. When the government controls that decision for her, she is being treated as less than a full adult human responsible for her own choices.”

My profound thanks to Susan for returning to my blog and sharing her inspiring thoughts.

Image Credit: WDCUTAH.org (Women's Democratic Club of Utah).

Connect with Susan at these links:
Susan's website: https://a-career-that-soars.mn.co/landing
Twitter:  @SusanColantuono

Read my first Q&A featuring Susan at this link:
https://www.debbielaskeysblog.com/2021/08/as-we-celebrate-1920-work-remains-to.html

To read more about today’s historical significance, check out this link:
https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/wyoming-grants-women-the-vote